3 Things that happen when you have to let go of a childhood bestfriend.
It’s a friendship that started back in junior high. The kind of co-dependency that makes you feel more like sisters than friends. Week night sleepovers were normal and an expected thing. Aspects of life such as clothes, dreams, and secrets were shared and bonded over.
The kind of friendship that made it through the pre-teen years, having the same crushes, going to different schools, colleges, break-ups, and all the things that happen in-between. A lifetime friendship that would make it through marriage, children, and into old age.. right?
For me, that wasn’t the case. My longtime friendship came to a end after about a decade and it has taken over a year to even process it. Here are 3 things I’ve learned from my experience.
- The word “roller coaster” really doesn’t explain it.
Sometimes the friendship ends due to lack of communication, boundaries not being respected, life style differences, or even because it became toxic. Whatever the reason may be, there will definitely be a whirl wind of emotions to follow. I’ve experienced emotions ranging from peaceful to just plain sad. At times they happen simultaneously and others times you are deeply present in one emotion. Most days I am content and actual able to love myself. Then there are times when I realize that a person I used to call both randomly and for big stuff just isn’t there anymore. I wish I could say that goes away, but that hasn’t been my experience. - There’s a good chance it’s not going to be a clean break.
Childhood friendships like these are integrated into your life to the point where they leave an obvious hole in your life and your extended family’s lives. They may still get invites to weddings that you wont, they may still have communication between them, or your family may ask you how they are doing. In my experience it feels both nice that everyone else is able to maintain that relationship while also leaving you in this sort of isolating pain. Taking you back through all of your emotions in point #1. - You will pray, celebrate, and love them.. just from afar now.
At this point you know that this isn’t a friendship by definition anymore. However, if you are anything like me, that doesn’t mean you are going to curse them nor want bad things for them. Instead, when they come to mind, you pray for them. You pray they achieve their goals in life, that they are happy, and that they are given the kind of friends they need in their life. You may get told things or see what they decide to share on social media and cheer them on. Granted you likely wont comment anymore nor like their things to keep the drama at bay, but you’re there in spirit celebrating their accomplishments and wishing them pure joy.
Basically it all comes down to this: people come into your lives for a season. They grow with you; they teach you things about friendships and about yourself. Which I’ve heard time and time again, but it wasn’t until it happened to me that I understood it. And I for one learned a lot in that season.
